It’s a beautiful Friday in the city of Abuja, Nigeria. It’s the start of the weekend and thinking about how you must have spent your week and what must have happened in your place of work, in your relationship, between you and your friends, in your church, family, school, your life in general.
Its time to let go… It sounds easy right? Yeah! I wish it’s as easy as it sounds.
What does it mean to let go?
We often say or hear “am trying to let go”, “just let it go”. Everyone expect you to let go but it sometimes seems possible to the person holding on. I have always wondered what it means to let go.
According to www.psycholohytoday.com, In order to answer the above question, we need to know /understand why it is that the we hold on in the first place?. “Generally speaking, we tend to believe that the reason we hold on is because of what someone did, or didn’t do, because of the loss of someone” I quote.
We think that we hold on because of the circumstance. In other words, we think that we hold on because we have to change the topic circumstance. This belief faulty though it is, comes from a specific stage of adjustment called “bargaining”.
Bargaining, is a stage of grief, according to Elisabeth Kuster Ross, whose 1969 book, on Death and Dying was a ground breaking piece, which changed our thinking entirely on the grief process. And while the theory still hold true for many with regards to the grief process related to bereavement, there are many others who theorize that these stages of grief are also relevant to any difficult adjustment process. The above article was written by Andrea Mathews LPC, NCC.
Letting go by Cambridge dictionary means:to stop thinking about or being angry about the past or something that happy in the past.
Urban dictionary :to let your frustration, anger etc go and not let it stress you out like it has been doing. Letting go means you don’t have to stress over whatever you are letting go anymore.
I remember when I lost my kid brother.. For more than 3 months, I couldn’t understand why he had to die. He was just a 12 years old smart, intelligent, caring handsome and focused boy. He had planned everything he wanted to be. I was angry, so angry not just because he dies young but I felt God had some questions to answer, he died despite our sleepless nights of mid night prayers, seed sowing and trusting God for healing. My heart was so heavy, I didn’t want to pray anymore and neither did I care to go to church. It took the grace of God, my boyfriend and a man of God who helped me through that process. Yes I pulled through finally and I can proudly say I have let go. Do I still remember him? Yes, but I see everything as God having a better reason.
I remember when a man I was dating and ready to get married to, got his psychologist pregnant. Was I heart broken? Yes. Was I shattered? Yes. I have forgiven him though but I really can’t tell if I have let go.. Maybe I have but I can’t tell. I have moved on but it hurts each time I remember. Although this says, I feel it wasn’t meant to be that’s why it happened. And it happened because I was meant for someone else.
“The feelings, tied with what you are letting go may still hold a place in your heart and but it’s better to let whatever it is go and get on with your life than to let it hold you down and depressed”.
According to Yoga international, there may not be a magic pill to let go of your past or whatever it is you’re clinging to. However, you can begin simply by loosening your grip.
Sometimes, I feel the phrase “let go” be very annoying. When people say it, it makes it look like you can just blink your eye and everything would go away. How I wish it was possible….
Possible things to do to help you let go
- Try yoga
- Learn a new skill
- Change your perception – Try to see the root cause as a blessing in disquise.
- Cry it out – crying out releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress. (Dr. William Frey II)
- Make a list of accomplishment – even small ones and add to it daily.
- Engage in physical activity – exercise decreases stress hormones and increase endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind.
- Express your feeling through dancing writing or painting..
We all have something or someone or a situation we need to let go.. It’s time we learn to let go so we could become free and better…. I know it’s not easy and it’s not going to be easy except we learn to make it so..
I would like to know one issue or situation you would like to let go… Let’s share our problems in other to find a better solution.. For those of us who are blessed with letting go easily, please share your secret to letting go because we would all love to learn..
It’s all about you…. Never forget that.