The truth is, most married women stay in an abusive marriage and relationship because of their children..  If you ask 60% of domestically abused women why they stayed in their relationship for long, the answer will be, ” i didn’t want to leave because of my children”.  
The question is, is that enough reason to continue staying in an abusive environment?  Do you know the effect of continuous staying in that environment on those children?  I guess the answer is no.  Today,  I would try my best to enlighten us on the “The effect of domestic violence on children”. 
My first question is –  Based on logistics, do we know how many children witness the abuse on their mothers?. Withness can mean seeing the actual incident of physical / and or sexual abuse.  It can also mean hearing threats or fighting noises from another room, children may also observe the aftermath of physical abuse such as blood,  bruises, tears, torn clothing and broken items. Children maybe aware of the tension in the home such as their mother’s fearefulness  when the abuser’s car pulls into the drive way. In most cases,  after observing this things happening in their respective homes, they start believing they are the reason why their parents fight or why their dad always abuse their mum. 

They constantly live a life of “self blame”  which is not good for them… There will always be  a lot of un answered questions on their minds.
What are the feeling of children who are exposed to battering? 
– they become fearful and anxious. They are always on guard, waiting and watching for the next event to occur.  They never know what will trigger the abuse so they are never safe.
-Children of abuse feel isolated and vulnerable. They are starved for attention, affection and approval.
Research has shown that there are short term effect of abuse on children.  Example of such effects are : bedwetting,  acting out,  withdrawals, poor school performance, developmental delays in speech, head aches,  stomach achus  etc. 
Examples of some of the long term effects of domestic violence on children are: 
they suffer emotional and psychological trauma from living in homes where their father abuses their mother.. In most cases,  this type of trauma creates a void in their lives.  There will always be a of getting into a relationship or commitment. 
They might end up growing up with a role model of intimate relationships in which one person uses intimidation and violence over the other person to get their way.
-Because children have a natural tendency to identify with strength, the may ally themselves with the abuser’s and lose respect for their seemingly helpless mother. 
There are a lot of effects of domestic violence on children.  I just mentioned a few. “Women,  let’s always think about the future of our children.  It’s never to late to say #NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE #.  


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  1. Honestly it will be good for parents to know the effect of Domestic violence on there children, this will help us as people and help our children grow in the right environment and in return the country will be a better place where women and children right is valued and protected.

  2. UCHE OLIVER-OBIEKWE . Thanks Precious for this thought provoking write up Yes , parents should always put into consideration’s the effects of this on their children who were not there when they took the decision to get married. Again they should prayerfully look for ways of solving their problems n let the children enjoy their right of growing in a
    peaceful environment!

  3. Wow, Nice piece! It’s high time women stopped using their children as excuse and leave before they get killed…. Thumps up girl

  4. Precious, your write up is quite educational. However, I want to believe that the effect of divorce on children is more than staying in the marriage with domestic violence. Do your investigation and you will see greater reason to stay in the marriage than divorce. The children will now be made to face the negative side of a stepmother, or housemaid. I would rather wish you address the causes of domestic violence and how to avoid it.

    1. Thanks a lot. I am already working on that. But I would still maintain the fact that instead of staying in a marriage of the probability of you dying by mistake is high, it’s better you take a bow and with your children too. Of course I don’t support divorce, am a forever type of person but some situations prompt some solutions… The best way to avoid getting to this stage is by noticing his characteristics on time and avoid getting into a relationship with him.. I don’t know if you read my first post. There, I tried my best to outline some characteristics of a person that women should notice on time and avoid… Thanks again for your comment.

    2. Thank you very much for your comment. On a normal day, I don’t believe in divorce. I am a forever type of woman. But my point is, instead of staying in an abusive marriage where you know one day, you might be found dead and your children will still be left at the mercy of a stepmother, it’s better you take a bow from such relationship and with your children. You can’t leave them there. No tradition or court will allow that. The children will always be his, but they will be with you. About writing on ways to avoid this, in my first post, I gave a little break down on characteristics that a man can display at the start of your relationship that would prompt you to know that such relationship isn’t right and shouldn’t lead to marriage… Am also working on things that women do that can make a non violent man become violent….
      Thanks again for your comment. God bless you.

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